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1.
2.
betterworld 08:39
All these years, I thought I knew my brother Well, it turns out to not quite be the case Reality's stranger than fiction As he's now a she, turned from John to Jane Doing my best to be understanding Of the bullshit she has to endure If there's a god up there who'll listen I have but one request to relay upon you Would you ease her suffering? Or will my cry be in vain? Will you ease her suffering? Please don't let my cry be in vain All I want is for her to be Able to live in this world Without fear of animosity Or being stabbed in her neck There's a lot in this universe that I hate But the one thing I hate above all Is bigotry towards other people Especially those that are considered abnormal And when a friend of mine is considered abnormal You bet your ass I'll defend them to the best of my ability And if you dare take a single step towards her... I won't hesitate to break your legs Don't you dare look her way With those ill-intending eyes My fist may not be made of steel But I'm still ready to fight She deserves to live in a better world Than this rotten globe we walk upon We all deserve to live in a better world Than this rotten globe we walk upon
3.
Crawl 06:06
Find me screaming in silence Daring not to speak a word Hear me cursing my nature Wanting not to face the world Why do I keep letting myself down? 'Fraid I can't say Pull yourself the fuck together I keep saying to myself And yet, I never listen Prefer to procrastinate How deaf must one be to ignore The voice within? I hope you've come to realize These tiny holes you're barely crawling through No one is responsible for them but you Torn mind Tell me, are you proud of yourself now? I hope you've come to realize These tiny holes you're barely crawling through No one is responsible for them but you Pull yourself together now, man I'm tired of watching you wasting your life Let me restore your torn mind So you may be proud of yourself again
4.
I was but a boy When it dawned on me I'm not quite like Everybody else For years, I wondered Tried to find out what I am Did not take too long Until the first case Of what seemed like A random outburst Vain though it was then, I tried to hide Behind the veil of my condition Wiser though I am now I'm still learning To not blame all my faults On that side of me
5.
Pessimist 08:26
For five years, I've been stuck in the same old limbo Wanting to feel loved, but being fine without Wanting to believe one of these days, it'll come my way But there's this one thing clouding my better judgment My mind insists on fighting against itself As to its cause, I'm never sure what to blame it on Inside, I remind myself Still of my lack of success Struggling to silence that thing When I would need it the least Fact of the matter is I enjoy things as they are Even with the complete lack of a romance Besides, there's only so much that I'm willing to sacrifice For my alone time is something that I cherish Arguably even too much for my own good Either way, I'm past wallowing in that pit of despair I don't mind staying alone Still, if I said I'd prefer To die with no one by my side That would be a lie Inside, I remind myself Still of my lack of success Struggling to silence that thing When I would need it the least Can you please stop teasing me? It's hard enough without your screaming So goes by another day On both sides of the fence No star shines in the sky For they all have long since died Who are you to talk about fate When you never believed in it? I'm done with your excuses So don't even try swaying me Trust in them when they say Someday you'll feel that flame Burning within your soul And you'll know it's not just you
6.
7.
The Fall 09:04
Uncertainty clouds my fragile mind No longer sure what I truly seek No birds dare sing songs of happiness By my window Hello, my friend in the mirror Thought it was time we should meet again Would you not say that we are stuck? Now please tell me how I should proceed Do what you know Just keep procrastinating I wish that was Not what you're known to do best Do you not wish to free yourself from these chains? Apparently not Behind the curtain There lies my future But it's too heavy To pull aside I can't go forth What if I never rediscover The path from whence I've gone astray? I don't even want to tease myself With such thoughts When I'm still not ready to fall

credits

released April 24, 2021

All music and lyrics by Santtu Pesonen

Produced by Santtu Pesonen

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Santtu Pesonen

Cover art by Santtu Pesonen

Dialogue on "(s)elf-(p)ity" taken from the video "Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself" by Karl Moore

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The Santtu Pesonen Project Joensuu, Finland

Started in December of 2012 by a then-ambitious 18-year-old Santtu Pesonen, The Santtu Pesonen Project has served as the Finnish hobbyist musician's primary musical outlet. The project's sound originated in a style reminiscent of hard rock, and every album since the debut EP has steadily taken it more towards progressive rock/metal. ... more

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